Life happens

Life has been busy. Buying and starting to renovate an apartment, finding a donor, going home for Thanksgiving, wedding planning, …

We’ve bought an apartment.

It’s in a building built before the first World War. It has a lot of interesting details, – dental moldings on the ceiling, parquet floors, an insulated wine closet. It’s big, although not as big as our wildest dreams. A bedroom for us, two smaller bedrooms for kids or guests, an office/library for my Love and her books, a small office for me, a living room, a dining room and a kitchen.

Buying it was complicated. As I’ve mentioned, the board of a cooperative apartment building has to approve any transfer, and they can be very intrusive if they want. Boards normally require several years of tax returns and asset statements. I’ve earned at New York levels less than a year. My Love’s business requires a ridiculous level of security and confidentiality, to the extent that she can’t give a board the information it usually requires. We can easily afford the apartment and the monthly maintenance charge, and fortunately the board was pragmatic rather than a stickler for protocol.

We haven’t moved in yet. It’s a complete wreck. It has to be almost completely rebuilt; all the walls have major cracks and the ceilings in two of the rooms have collapsed. There’s water damage all over the place.

And we’re ripping out the kitchen and consolidating it with a small bedroom (what they call a “maid’s room” here in NY) to make the kitchen of our dreams.

The design work is done and we’re getting bids. It’s interesting for me personally to be an owner. We needed an engineer for the kitchen design; hiring one was particularly amusing.

We’ve found a donor.

My fiancée has thrown herself into pregnancy planning.

This is bizarrely uncharacteristic. It’s funny, actually. Or it would be, if the potential for disaster were not so high:

  1. She is a force of nature. When she gets the bit between her teeth, there’s no stopping her.
  2. Never having planned anything, she has no idea how to go about it.
  3. She has the best part of a year to waste spend on this.

It’s like being in Tornado Alley with a thunderstorm on the way. You know there’s going to be havoc, you just don’t know where it’s going to hit.

She has scored some early successes. She’s proposed a donor (this time with the potential to help us). It’s a guy who once proposed marriage to her. (She turned him down.)

I initially rejected this. It’s just too weird. But I’ve met him now, and, for a lot of reasons, it turns out not to be weird at all. I just hope that, if we have a girl, she looks like my Love.

Wedding planning is progressing.

On the other hand, she’s not permitted to do any planning for our wedding. Our mothers, our sisters and I have pointedly excluded her. She’s allowed to ask questions and make requests (which have generally been excellent), but not to participate.

Her father says that makes my fiancée the man in our relationship.

We’ll let her pick her wedding dress. That’s it. She has exquisite taste in clothing. Her business has been so successful that her budget is effectively unlimited.

I’d love to have her pick my wedding dress, but, of course, that is out of the question.

The next best thing: Our sisters are coming to New York next week. First they’ll help her. Then, armed with that knowledge, they’ll help me.

We are going have a lot of fun. It will be my sister’s, and one of her sisters’, first time in New York. There’s not much room in my apartment. Either it’s going to be a big sleepover on my living room floor, or hotels.

Thanksgiving was lovely, thanks.

I’ll write more about that when I get the chance.

8 thoughts on “Life happens

    • If it’s a palace, it’s like one in a horror movie. We had to sign a letter saying we’d never sue the sellers for “any defect. patent or latent”. Our lawyer wasn’t very happy about that, but we’re going to strip it down to the lathing, rewire it, replace the plumbing and rebuild it generally.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Wow, congratulations on all the developments, particularly having found an apartment and a donor! Those are both big deals on their own! I’d be interested to hear more about why the donor’s history became not-weird after you met him. Glad wedding planning is going well, and good luck with the dress hunt — I actually found that one of the most stressful parts of planning our wedding, since I am definitely not a dress person (I wound up not going the white dress route and was very happy in my purple tea-length satin dress).

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m trying to decide how much to post about our donor. For now, I’ll just say that my fiancée would have accepted his proposal if she hadn’t been coming to the realization that she is a lesbian. (A realization that he helped her to come to.) One of the issues in their courtship was that she wanted kids but he didn’t. (He already has kids; he loves them extravagantly, but he doesn’t want more.)

      I expect we’ll have two white dresses. We’re both prefer to wear dresses (at least when I’m not inspecting a jobsite and she’s not working on the ranch), and we’re both traditional. If we were strictly following tradition, she’d wear white but I wouldn’t. However, she’s thinks it would be “barbaric” if I didn’t wear white for that reason.

      Tea-length purple satin would be awfully sweet, though.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow, the apartment! It sounds potentially amazing. With the fact that you will be having children, please make sure to get things lead inspected. I can’t wait to hear more about the donor and wedding planning.

    Liked by 1 person

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